Posts tagged dress

***Go read a technology blog, Dan. This has spoilers. Shoo!***

So what’s happened between now and The One?

The Other One vs. The One
Yes, it’s true, I cheated on The One. During my visit to I Do Bridal, I actually believed I found the real One. It was very simple, no frills, and it was part of a sample sale that would go back to the main company that coming Monday. Everyone seemed to think it was the real One, so we had the final meeting set up to purchase it right before they shipped it off. I even told Dan I changed my mind, but Sunday morning changed everything. We were sitting in the car after church and Dan pulled the David’s Bridal magazine out of the backseat and asked me to show him the First One. Figuring the deal was off, we flipped through the pages and I showed him the rejected One, and as we browsed, I spotted something odd: there, for $300 cheaper, was a dress that looked almost identical, but cuter, to the New One. So Sunday afternoon, Nanny (my dad’s mom) and I dashed to David’s Bridal to check out this new New One.

David’s was packed. No one could help us but the front greeter girl (who, as it turned out, rather wanted to be an assistant, but was only part time and couldn’t be.) Needless to say, I probably made her day and her commission.

Of course, initially she told me I couldn’t try on the dresses at all because policies required that there be an assistant. She didn’t seem to grasp our urgency, so I told her that this was dress life or death; we’d either buy a dress from them or not, and this would seal the deal. (Besides, I Do’s dresses are 10 times more expensive and they let me put them on myself, so I was almost insulted at this point.) So she talked to the manager and they obliged. With the greeter girl’s help, I was shoved in the Poser One dress and quickly decided that it definitely wasn’t it. And as I stood there in the store, I found myself gazing longingly at the rack that I knew held The One, hanging there sad but  proud. I remembered the flowing layers of soft ivory taffeta, the dainty flower and sparkling old fashioned appliqués on the hip; how it looked like every 50’s Prom Dress Princess I could have ever wanted to dress up as a little girl. And I decided I needed to try it on again. The greeter girl said “Of course!” this time and when she brought it out,  my heart lit up. We meet again, dress, I thought. The dress at I Do was lovely, but it wasn’t uniquely beautiful like you. And it forgave me, because even 3 sizes too small, I could tell that this was still The One. And it wasn’t “too much” for the park. It wasn’t $1,000. It was the one that made my mom cry. It was perfect. 
And with a flash of 12 months no interest financing, I bought it, and a size smaller than I am right now, against everyone in the store’s wishes. Come September, I’ll need to be about 3-4 inches smaller, which isn’t horribly difficult considering the incentive. I can do it because I’m worth it, the wedding is worth it and The One is worth it.

And so concludes Operation Dress Hunt!
Next up: Operation Lose Some Friggin’ Weight. Oh joy…
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A Sadly Shrinking Guest List
My guest list is shrinking, and it’s not our fault. I don’t know if this is a typical situation, but this year, every few weeks, someone I know dies. First it was my grandpa. Then my aunt. Monday, it was my Grandma Diana’s brother-in-law, who I called Uncle Jack. So I issue this formal plea: Please stop dying, People I Love. You’re messing all my plans up. kthx.

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On that subject, cake tasting was going to be tomorrow and Sunday. We were going to Cake Affairs and W.O.W Cakes, but the thing is, Grandma Diana is buying our cake and we don’t want to go without her. This has been a hard year for her, so I know it’d be something she’d love to be a part of, but I can’t bear to ask her if she’d still want to go tomorrow with the funeral of one of her oldest friends still so fresh. So I called W.O.W, which was simple enough to change, but Cake Affairs is tiny and it took 3 weeks to even get the appointment we have now. For the time being, we’ll just cancel and hold position until we know for sure; meanwhile I reiterate my previous statement about people I love dying…sigh.

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Other Updates:

Dan’s Mom and Grandma really really like me! I wish like anything they didn’t live 5 hours away, because I totally heart them too…

My red and cream lanterns came in! Yay!

We’re thinking about changing from poppies to reddish orange cabbage roses since poppies are nearly impossible to get. Thoughts?

The invitations are getting closer

My Magic Mouse came in, which is neither here nor there, but wowzers is it nice….

And that’s all for now! Thanks for hanging with me!

Wedding shops, in case you weren’t aware, have really wonderful, smiling women who work there. They treat you like fashion model queens and grin like cats with wingless white canaries. I’m pretty sure that if they didn’t, the dressing rooms would be full of large, suicidal, half dressed women.

Barnum and Bailey Bride
I wear a 14 in just about everything, from Dillards dresses to Old Navy pants, and I’m no pixie. But at wedding shops, they shove you in what I imagine is probably a 10 and tell you it’s a 14. They will then tell you you’re waaaaay too fat to fit into a 14 (10), you’re almost able to fit into a 16 (12), and then charge you $200 to put you in “Women’s size” 16 (14). But then when you go into “Women’s sizes”, sure, you have your pick of quite a few dresses, as long as you don’t mind that A) they’re twice as much B) they all look fairly similar and C) they aren’t nearly as pretty as the smaller dresses. So basically, fat girls get screwed. I’m not even that massive and I’m still being treated like I’m forcing children in Asia to sew a circus tent out of gold. And after you try on 20 dresses that could have easily belonged to Twiggy, you start to feel like you might actually be the size of a Barnum elephant and that perhaps lemon juice and cayenne pepper for 5 months isn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had. Needless to say, by the end of it, those smiling cat ladies had a fun time trying to pry the tiara out of my hand that I was slowly digging into into my jugular.

What made it worse was that halfway through, I think I found THE ONE. They still made me try on dresses that looked dreadful, but I had THE ONE and it had latched itself into my elephantine heart.

The One
It’s Oleg Cassini, who’s designed dresses for Jackie O and Marilyn Monroe (so it’s in the right era!) and it’s just gorgeous. I found it randomly right when I was about to give up at David’s Bridal (which, out of the 3 shops I went to, was actually the most comfortable experience. My smiling cat was a sweetheart.) 
But I can’t afford it, so it’s going to require some quick thinking. Do I chance getting it online or do I go into debt for a dress I wear once? I know what I WANT to do. I want to find a dress at a DAV that magically fits and is vintage and $20. But that’s not going to happen for a 14. I don’t want any other dress, and I’m sick of trying them on, so now it all depends on the waistline and the bottom line, and I’m left with one option: diet or die.


Diet or Die
To be honest, I want to diet. I want to look pretty darn amazing in that dress, because nothing would make me sadder than looking like a taffeta tank. But how? How can a girl who loves her pasta and can’t cook worth a darn eat healthier? I can up the walking regiment and stop drinking all sugary beverages (not that I drink many anyway), but with my picky tastes and big appetite, unless I go into a serious depression or magically move to England where I hate all food, getting smaller is on par with getting taller. My budget allows for 3 things: buying frozen dinners, buying gas and paying $100 a month for Dan’s ring. Nothing else. I haven’t gone clothes shopping since I moved out of my parents’ house in July. I’m wearing the same shoes I did 3 years ago. I’m driving a beat up Oldsmobile and my parents pay for my insurance, phone bill and internet. Paying for diet programs *and* wedding stuff wasn’t exactly in my budget. Grandma offered to go to Weightwatchers with me, but $12 a week adds up. So I guess all I can do is pray, walk, research and hope I do the right thing, and that somehow or another, I’ll get into that dress. Go team! Or…just me. Go me. Sigh.

In case you weren’t aware, the reason why I’m getting my dress made is because A) I don’t like any of the current styles of dresses and B) None of the older styles are exactly it either, or they wouldn’t fit me. So when Lorraine, the woman who’s making my dress, requested that I find a pattern, it didn’t occur to me until I started looking at patterns that all of them are based on current styles and the older styles that won’t fit.

And we’re back at square one.

What I need is someone who can make a dress based entirely off of crappy screen shots of a 1996 film being streamed on an illegal Chinese website. Anyone know any amazing seamstresses who specialize in that?

Also, if you know any magicians who could make me look remotely as gorgeous as Liv Tyler, do let me know. :D

The Dress
I have someone to make my dress! Yay! I’m aiming for something similar in shape to the little one in the middle with a bodice and moss green ribbon like the old one. I have till July 1st to find a pattern that she can use, and while I’m hoping for an old pattern, a new one would be so much easier. To say I’m excited to get started is an understatement…do you suppose you can make a wedding dress in 4 months? (Also, those green shoes don’t actually exist. It is a tragedy.)

$600 Betty Crocker Sugar Flowers.
The idea that one can spend $635 on consumable cake that is usually so dry and, well, unconsummable, that you don’t want to eat another piece is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. Honestly, I’m surprised more brides don’t get rugburns when their husbands cram the stuff in their face.

…Which takes us to Cake Affairs. I have never heard of the place, but I went to a wedding in January and the cake was so good, I actually continued to consume this cake, even to the point of standing in line to get another piece with cousins and aunts that I’d prefer to only see on major holidays. It is expensive, but this is something I want you to eat. This is something I want to eat. Also, they’re just gorgeous! My grandma has agreed to take care of the cake, but do I really want to break her bank or just get something pretty and passable? It is a dilemma, to be sure.

Premarital Counseling in the Facebook Age.
We found out last night that my church’s idea of premarital counseling involves taking a paid online compatibility test and talking a little bit with the pastor on some Saturday. This is both a great relief and somewhat inadequate. This is our future we’re talking about…I was hoping for something more in depth that might go beyond taking a Chemistry.com Newlywed match game. But oh well. It’s non-invasive. That works for me.
 
Wedding video=Vacation Video.  
I went to house church last night and the leader’s wife, who is my age, asked us if anyone wanted to watch her wedding video from January (yeah, the cake wedding.) We all thought about this and it occurred to me that most people who have to sit through your wedding once will not want to do it again, no matter how pretty it is. It’s on par with someone’s nice vacation footage, essentially. That being said, who the heck do I know that does videography for cheap?

Relationship Issues
I had a long post planned about our relationship issues, but I’ve decided not to bore you terribly with the details. Let’s just say the past weekend was a mess. I was crying every 4 minutes, Dan was distant and I thought the whole thing was falling apart at the seams. Last night, we had a couch session and Dan finally told me his reason for being distant, and while it sounds a bit farfetched, it was rather sweet and I feel good about all of this again. Which is good. Because this is a wedding blog that ultimately requires a wedding at the end.

In conclusion, I’d just like to state that men are impossible enigmas and I’m marrying the worst one ever. Oh, my silly blonde milkman-not-milkman.