I don’t know how poor people have weddings. …I suppose they don’t. They just go to the courthouse and get the papers signed, and I guess that’s technically all I should be able to do. That’s what everyone’s been saying to do from the beginning, anyway. With this crappy economy, Dan’s hours were cut over the summer, so he’s making even less than he already was. I got a little raise, but that doesn’t help him pay for my ring or tuxes or shoes, and he has to pay for something. And my parents are dead broke. Dan’s parents have the rehearsal dinner and half the photography. Two of my grandmas are covering a bit of the flowers and the cake. I’ve also received really good deals on really high quality stuff from local artist friends that would be impossible otherwise. We’ve been very blessed in so much and I’m so thankful for everyone’s help that it’s hard to find words for it…

…But in the end, I’m still a poor person with rich tastes trying to plan a marriage, the most expensive institution this side of higher education, while living paycheck to paycheck and without any savings or rich relatives. And that really sucks. I knew things weren’t going to be easy, but sometimes I wish I could just enjoy this amazing experience without worrying about money for just one minute. Remember that 40 people in the park idea I had way back when? Yeah, I want that back.

Oh God, I leave this up to you. I’m spent.